I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
