i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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