I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
