I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
