new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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