Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick

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  (631): i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick http://tfl.nu/rq3v
  Replies (20) Good night (1412) Bad night (1814)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Random question, how's your gag reflex these days

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  (315): Random question, how's your gag reflex these days http://tfl.nu/0fku
  Replies (10) Good night (4517) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.

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  (785): I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well. http://tfl.nu/l51l
  Replies (3) Good night (5712) Bad night (779)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.

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  (832): Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella. http://tfl.nu/o5ml
  Replies (14) Good night (5321) Bad night (2520)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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  (508): I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls http://tfl.nu/izkj
  Replies (4) Good night (1960) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night

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  (978): My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night http://tfl.nu/zzxc
  Replies (10) Good night (4533) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.

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  (201): Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied. http://tfl.nu/g4t4
  Replies (8) Good night (3795) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.

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  (651): He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler. http://tfl.nu/6sno
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (1367)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?

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  (832): I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested? http://tfl.nu/a21v
  Replies (7) Good night (1990) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry

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  (715): Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry http://tfl.nu/21br
  Replies (8) Good night (665) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I want to own their dicks and all the attachments

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  (210): I want to own their dicks and all the attachments http://tfl.nu/6rti
  Replies (1) Good night (774) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man

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  (612): buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man http://tfl.nu/4qce
  Replies (4) Good night (364) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out

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  (780): Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out http://tfl.nu/hqrh
  Replies (10) Good night (357) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair

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  (517): It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair http://tfl.nu/cxxw
  Replies (4) Good night (318) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.

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  (414): you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business. http://tfl.nu/y67z
  Replies (4) Good night (543) Bad night (185)

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