so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
