his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
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Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.