i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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