Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms http://tfl.nu/2y09
  Replies (22) Good night (4692) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance http://tfl.nu/0lmn
  Replies (8) Good night (3319) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling. http://tfl.nu/12gk
  Replies (9) Good night (694) Bad night (3781)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today. http://tfl.nu/pv8p
  Replies (16) Good night (830) Bad night (5322)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes. http://tfl.nu/823v
  Replies (12) Good night (2987) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her. http://tfl.nu/hua5
  Replies (5) Good night (2797) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over http://tfl.nu/4t6t
  Replies (8) Good night (3218) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  welcome to the club.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night. (1-215): welcome to the club. http://tfl.nu/wwaf
  Replies (5) Good night (958) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again. http://tfl.nu/e5f9
  Replies (4) Good night (498) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day. http://tfl.nu/r0vt
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :) http://tfl.nu/j4k1
  Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  All. The answer is always all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!? (1-202): All. The answer is always all http://tfl.nu/33z7
  Replies (3) Good night (739) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts http://tfl.nu/n21e
  Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night? http://tfl.nu/hxw0
  Replies (1) Good night (748) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water http://tfl.nu/dbl8
  Replies (0) Good night (527) Bad night (272)

Randomize