I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.