yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.