you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.