I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
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Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
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So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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