I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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