you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
