About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
