Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
