i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am spending my child support on dildos
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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