Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize