yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
