I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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