What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
