We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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