Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
