You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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