That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
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Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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