I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize