i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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