Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
