I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
