I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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