Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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