genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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