Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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