I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
