thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
