So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
