Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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