after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
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Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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