omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize