btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
