five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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