I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
