the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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