she looked like the before picture.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
