whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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