it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
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Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
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He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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