just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
