I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize