Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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