Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.