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Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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