Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.