I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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