was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
