my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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