Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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