so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
As shirtless as possible
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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