OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
