I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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