The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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