I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
