He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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