I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
