Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
