in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
my liver is dry heaving
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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